Roma & Kayley: Next Steps After Leaving Ukraine

Kayley worked as a teacher with Hanna English School in Ukraine until marrying Ukrainian Roma Kocherzhuk in November 2021. After fleeing the war on February 24, the two landed as refugees in Leipzig, Germany and are now waiting for Roma’s US visa. Kayley is currently working part time as a remote Assistant for Can Do Kids International.

Update & Next Steps

• We have the majority of our paperwork complete! We’ve spend a total of about 28 hours in lines (both day and night) to get it…but we have it! This allows us to a) stay & work in Germany b) use public transportation c) get health care & d) get free access to the zoo! If any of you reading this would like to visit us here, we would love to take you to the zoo, which is considered one of the best in Germany.

Cute fish smiles at Leipzig Zoo

A little friend from the aquarium which was recently added to the zoo.

• We have started volunteering with the Baptist church we attend here (it is the church that belongs to Julia and Tobias, the couple hosting us). So far, Roma has been the main one involved, as I have been sick most of our time here. Roma spends most of his time for the church translating documents and translating for events. Roma also did an interview for a local radio station.

• Health - Roma has been fine, but I’ve been sick a lot lately. As a result, I’ve been stuck in our flat a lot more than I’d like to be over the last few weeks, which has been a bit discouraging. The good news is … we are pregnant! The bad news is … I don’t feel well. But good news again … I have visited the doctor and everything looks healthy and normal and I have a due date of October 18. So I ask that you would pray for my physical and mental health - I would really appreciate it!

• We are slowly but surely starting to make friends here, which is a big blessing.

• We are looking into starting German classes!

• Roma is in the process of finding a job so we can move out from our friends’ flat and afford our own place to live. Because we are waiting for his US VISA, there is a good chance we could be here anywhere from this Fall until next Spring.

How totaling my parents’ car prepared me for this season of life

I, unfortunately, have not helped fight against the “women are bad drivers” stereotype. Sorry ladies!

It was one of those insanely cold January days in Illinois where the temperature was well below zero Fahrenheit. Pretty much all of my family, not just parents, but sister, grandparents and aunts/uncles/cousins were out of town for various reasons, so I was left behind to house-sit. After taking care of our dog Sami in El Paso, I headed off to Indian Creek (near Towanda, Illinois) to take care of my aunt and uncle’s various animals. Though I saw some cars in the ditch along the way, I made it safely from El Paso to Towanda, a 30 minute drive. So, after taking care of the animals, I decided it would be safe to make the 10 minute drive to church.

I was on the highway only about 5 minutes from town, when it all “went down” (literally). Driving at around 65 miles per hour, I suddenly felt a loss of control. The tires were jerking back and forth without me telling them to. In a split second, I was out of the right lane and flipping off the side of the left lane. As the car continued rolling into the middle ground between my side of the highway and the side with the oncoming traffic, I remember praying a quick prayer and counting the flips, which I think were three. Finally, the car came to a stop. Fortunately, the space between the highways was particularly wide in that area, so I did not land on the other highway, but safely in the middle.

Hanging sideways/upside down in the drivers seat, I didn’t move at first. I was taking it all in. But before I could think much, I could see a middle-aged couple running toward me from their car, which had slid into the ditch just minutes before. Seeing my accident in full view, I can only guess what they might have imagined to find. As I heard them come closer, I could hear the wife say in a panic “she’s not moving!” Realizing she was talking about me and probably terrified after what she had just seen, I snapped out of my daze. I began to crawl out slowly so they could see me move and know I was ok.

After climbing out of my car, they gave me a warm place to wait in theirs, which was still right-side-up. Other than a careless move of scraping my finger against the broken glass while climbing out, I appeared completely fine. Thankfully, over a foot of snow had accumulated in the ditch and cushioned my fall. Even though I felt ok, everyone suggested that I go with the ambulance the couple had called to get checked for concussions. Thanking the couple, I hopped into the ambulance and was on my way.

It had been quite the ride, but to my relief, the ER doctors confirmed that unlike the completely totaled car, I was in good shape.

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
— Psalm 46:1-2

Fast-forward to now, and in a lot of ways, the last two years of my life have really felt like that car wreck. Like I lost control of the car, I’ve lost control of my plans as hard circumstances have completely knocked me off the road to wherever I thought I was going. But also like the case of my literal car accident, I’ve come through safe.

For me, the main events of this “wreck” began with the pandemic, climaxed with the sudden loss of my sister, and continued into the situation I’m in now, married to a citizen whose country is being demolished by Russia.

But like the couple in the ditch helped me in the first moments, there have always been people helping in these events too. In the case of the most recent crisis, that has been a couple named Julia and Tobias (in addition to the German and Romanian governments, family and friends from home, our church here, and a continued list of amazing people) who have been these people. In addition to hosting us all this time, they have helped us with paperwork, doctor’s appointments, and the many other errands associated with taking refuge in a new country.

So, while it might sound like a bad thing to be comparing my life lately to a dangerous car accident, I am grateful for what happened that icy day on the road. It’s not only a reminder that we don’t have as much control over life as what we’d like to think, but a reminder that God is merciful. Even when you fall (or crash, or go through a loss, or get invaded, etc.)! He will still lift you back up in the end.